Love waits for one thing, the right moment.

Any man can make mistakes, but only an idiot persists in his error.

Marcus Tullius Cicero

What Comes Around...Goes Around!

If you know me well, you know that I fully believe the above saying! I am an extremely honest person- from telling you what I feel or what my opinion is, even when it is different from everyone else- I don't pretend to like something or someone if I don't- and I especially don't take things that are not mine or that have not been given to me. The latter is something that I feel very strongly about and I have worked hard to teach and instill that value and moral in Shea. Last night we went to Chili's and had a really cute, young waiter...now wait, I was really nice and not even flirty, I swear! Hey, I'm still recovering from my surgery- I was just happy to be out of the house and not cooking! I have a really bad habit of handing the waiter/waitress my credit card without checking the bill. Rudy always tells me not to do that...and Shea can mimic him perfectly saying, "That's a big no no!" Lately, I have really tried to make an effort and check the bill when we go out. So, last night we got chips & salsa that were not on our bill so of course I told the waiter (Usually you check the bill to make sure that they did not over charge you but in this case he didn't put it on the bill at all) to which he told me "not to worry about and then said that Shea & I were so nice!" He also thanked me for telling him! It happened at the grocery store as well where we got a box of cereal that did not belong to us. So the next time we went, I returned it to them. Shea thought it was funny that we just did not eat the Cheerios but like I told her, "What comes around...goes around!" I told her that had we eaten the box, our cholesterol would had gone up 50 points! I'm just really funny about that sort of stuff! Hey, what's mine is yours...but don't take something that does not belong to you or me!

What I would like my legacy to be is that of a person who took good care of her family and sang some songs that made a difference in some way. I hope I'll be remembered as somebody who was always down to earth and who handled her career and other people with honesty, integrity and class.

Martina McBride

I am afraid we must make the world honest before we can honestly say to our children that honesty is the best policy.

George Bernard Shaw

No legacy is so rich as honesty.

William Shakespeare

The best portion of a good man's life is his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love.

William Wordsworth

24 Hour Fitness

Shea made me laugh out loud today! Now that I can drive (limited driving since my surgery) we went to Target to get school supplies and to Red Robin for lunch. While talking at lunch, I mentioned to Shea that my friend, Joe, (I've known him since Jr. High School) went to work out at 11:00pm after the Angel game last night! He had text messaged me and told me he had not gone to sleep until 2:00am. Referring to 24 Hour Fitness...Her reply was, "Gosh, I didn't think they were serious!" Too stinkin' funny!

My Screensaver

My best friend, Lisa, took this photo for me because she knows how I love daisies. Shea is always trying to get me to put new ones on like her. Shea changes her screensavers like her underwear! Notice the bee on the one daisy! Pretty cool stuff. I love my Lisa! xoxoxo

Cin & Hawaii

Cindy, Chelsea & Peter are in Hawaii! I was so excited for their trip because they all deserve it so much! Cindy is 2 years older, actually she knows exactly how many months it is (it is less than 2 years) but I can't figure it out right now! Cin has always been the best sister that I could ever ask for. We are like night and day in every way you could ever imagine but we have a love for each other that is unshakable! When she called me tonight to tell me what all they had done so far on their trip, it made me just gush with glee to hear her so happy! She told me today was a "non drinking" day for her...something about drinking a whole bottle of champagne one night and the next a whole bottle of wine! I guess you could count that as a perk of being newly single!!!????!!! They get home Monday and I can't wait to see her. I always find it so strange when people are jealous of others when they get to do something fun or go somewhere nice. It truly makes me feel so happy for them! When Shea & I were at Cin's new house, I had to laugh because it is sooooooo different than my house. She has cow drinking glasses, (Geez, who would have known??) she wore a purple boa on her head while we ate dinner, (I called her Danielle Boone because it looked like Daniel Boone's coon skin hat!) she once had on a tye dye moo moo, (Shoot me if I ever even get near that thing!) and in her old house, she had these rainbow colored curtains, (She's not gay!) as kids, she would always wear the scary costumes, (I would be the pretty ballerina as she would have blood dripping from herself!) she has Pete's Wii game in her living room and they all love it and play, (Shea made me watch for about 15 minutes and I was almost as bored as a rock! Actually, yes...I was bored as a rock!) Cin bought a kleenex box with Malificent- the evil one from Sleeping Beauty, (At worst, I would buy one with the Disney princesses!) Cin's great at handling chaos- she teaches 5th grade (I, however, can handle chaos as well...for about 5 minutes. My students would be found in the closet with their mouths bound with duct tape!) I guess our differences are what make us love each other so much. To play fair, I will let her come and add whatever she would like to say about me on this post. I might live to regret it...but I will do it! Trust me, I know her list is very long and she may have many uncomfortable stories but all in all, I know she loves me!

Friends

I know it seems that I always write about my friends but I came across this reading and I wanted to share it. With all that I have been through in the last few weeks, it moved me.

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face us with the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.

Henri Nouwen

Papa John's Pizza Online

There is something to be said about technology! Since my surgery, I have been eating at home. Shea has been cooking a lot and I am finally feeling good enough to do some. Yesterday, Shea decided that it was time to order pizza. We love ChiChi's but they don't deliver, Shea didn't want Brooklyn Pizza which is who I like, so I suggested Papa John's. I have had it at work a few times with Min & Cherie and liked it. Shea literally ordered it online, the toppings, size, etc...got the total and I swear, it was delivered in about 45 minutes! Shea & I did have a giggle because the first order she did was not put through all the way and I told her she was going to have to eat all 10 of the pizzas that they delivered in error because of all the orders she had placed! It was almost $25.00 and I thought it was a lot for a large pizza until I realized that little Miss Shea also ordered a cinnamon pizza as well for dessert! It was good but way too much bread for me at this stage in the game. After all, I did have to save room for the cinnamon pizza. At any rate, I was so impressed that you could order pizza online and actually have it work! Will I do it that way the next time? I will still just call on the phone- you know how I hate change- but I am all for Shea doing the online thing!

The Puppy, Patti Watti & Libbs

Yesterday was a rough day for me. I'm very thankful that I don't have very many rough days but every once in awhile, one creeps in. My surgery was almost 2 weeks ago and recovery has been good, yet slow. I was expecting to rest a lot which I am ok with because I love being at home. (Not that I wouldn't rather be at work and back to my own routine!) I went and saw Dr. K yesterday morning just so he could examine my left side. I have had quite a bit more bruising and pain and now there is a small bump. I was concerned that it might be a hernia and the thought of having surgery again just put me over the edge! I like to think of myself as an extremely calm person who doesn't lose it very often. I'm level headed and I don't just fly off the handle. Yesterday morning as I kept reciting my favorite bible verse in my head (Proverbs 3:5&6) I began to feel anxious as I was trying to take my shower and get ready to go. Libbs was on her way to pick Shea up to go grocery shopping when I realized that Cindy still has my extra set of keys, (Cin's in Hawaii- I'm so happy for her, it's so well deserved) I'm thinking about having surgery again, my mind is reeling, my phone rings and it's Lisa who hears the anxiety in my voice and by the end of it, she starts crying and I'm teary too! Whew! The funny thing is that Libbs just took over- she brought Chels over, took me to the Dr, brought me home and did all our shopping! I swear, I've always thought she was Wonder Woman but she proved it yesterday! (Libbs even washed my feet the day she brought me home from the hospital- Geez, what a friend!) Thank God that Dr. K said he did not think it was a hernia but just my muscles that had been strained by getting up and down out of bed. I'm thinking positive thoughts and I'm hoping for the best! After taking a long nap in the afternoon, I felt much better about my day. Patti Watti called in the evening and offered to bring me a shake and her new puppy, Kingsley! How could I refuse? So, after a long, crummy day, I actually had a really great night. Patti Watti walked in with a strawberry shake and the most adorable little creature I have seen in awhile! Kingsley made me smile and just feel so much better! I couldn't help but think about all the geriatric patients in convalescent hospitals who love when the animals come in to visit them. It really is healing! Libbs ended up coming over and visiting for about an hour with us and all I could think of was how much I love these two women! It's incredible how God works and I've said it time and time again but...I truly believe that God puts certain people in our lives at certain times. It's ironic that we all worked at Shea's school together at one point, it's how we met. Yet, none of us work there now and are closer than we've ever been. Patti Watti reminded me of a time last year when she was very sick with the flu and I had come over and brought her soup, etc...Men are wonderful (anyone who knows me will tell you how I love the boys!) and I will never say anything to the contrary...but girlfriends who can come over and see you in no makeup, talk about nothing of concern, hang out and watch TV, share their puppy falling asleep in my arms, laugh at silly stuff...PRICELESS!

Therefore, if you desire love, try to realize that the only way to get love is by giving love. That the more you give, the more you get.

Stranger By The River

I Can Do It All On My Own...But Thank God I Don't Have To!

Here's the thing about me...I have always done everything on my own. From taking care of our home, to doing my job (work & my party favor business), I have never been one to accept help very easily. I remember the first time that anyone ever did my dishes (other than my best friend, Lisa) was when I brought Shea home from the hospital after giving birth. I can vividly remember one of my best friends, Dawn, in my kitchen- washing dishes, etc...and I remember how strange it felt. After being a nurse and the caretaker for so many years, for so many different patients and situations, it just felt so bizarre to me! I went years with going back to doing most of our everyday life chores on my own but I slowly gave in to the thought that when you are in a crisis situation, people (especially those who love me- which are so many- thank God!) truly want to help. A few years back when I had my Gallbladder out, I will admit to being scared. It was an emergency surgery (my first surgery) to which I cried like a big baby the minute Cin (my sis) and Amy walked in. It was in those few weeks that I finally realized how much I depend on my family and friends. I even called Rob at 2:00am to take me to emergency- talk about a nice ex-husband friendship! In those days, I had many friends bring Shea & I dinner, have Shea over and just generally make sure we were ok. I swore that I would never again try to do everything on my own and since then I happily have learned to accept help when it is offered. Since I have had this recent surgery (hysterectomy) I have never felt more loved in my life. I always tell Cindy that she is the best sister but "best" is an understatement with all that she has done for me in the past 2 weeks. Even though this surgery was scheduled, it was done very quickly. When I called Cin, she just dropped everything and was there with Amy at the hospital once again! They took care of my car, took Shea and Cindy and her family kept her safe the whole time that I was in the hospital. Do you know what a sense of peace that brought me? I've had so many phone calls, so many visitors, so many flower deliveries, dinners brought over, but most of all, I again feel so blessed and loved by my family and my friends. Accepting their love and help brings such a sense of joy to all of us. Donna, Mel & Heather have been so sweet through it all. Heather actually got to see first hand how silly I am with the boys as she walked all the way down to the OR with me. Two of my best friends, Libbs & Patti Watti have been there so much. They came and visited in the hospital, Patti brought me a shake when I couldn't bear to eat anything else. They brought me my favorite dinner when I got home. Libbs has been the one who has taken Shea to the grocery store for the past 2 weeks. Libbs also picked me up from the hospital and took me to my Dr.'s appointment today. I am usually so strong, yet my strength these days has come from them, their words of encouragement, their peace in telling me that Shea will be able to stay with them if I needed them to take her. Tonight, Patti Watti is bringing over her puppy and another strawberry shake for me! Min brought me over her birthday tea party from work that Cherie put together so I wouldn't miss out. Kim came (pregnant with her 5th) and brought me flowers leaving her 4 kids with Dean. With Lisa being in Oregon, it has been so difficult for her not being here with me. There have been many phone calls where either she is crying or I am crying. But I know she's there and it's a comfort to me. I know out of anybody, she feels my pain and hurt just as a twin sister would. (We've been friends since we were 5 years old) I wouldn't ever trade her love and friendship for anything in the world. There's something to be said about the person that I am that even Rob (my ex-husband) and Tammie (his new wife of over 2 years) came and saw me in the hospital. Tammie has a beautiful garden and they brought me roses and they brought me dinner the first night that I got home. Shea has done more than her fair share around here...a lot of picking up things that I have dropped, throwing trash, vacuuming, laundry, etc...I just smile and tell her, "Welcome to Mommy's world" to which she just laughs.

I am so loved and I do know it. I am blessed and I never take it for granted. I know that I will soon be the one helping out my family and friends, but for now...I am thankful for each and every one of them.

I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy.

Charles R. Swindoll

Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief.

Marcus Cicero

We are born into our families, but we earn our friendships.

Rebecca Stefof

Forgiveness is the only way that you can bind love and friendship. Without it, you are empty.

George Foreman

What A Difference A Week Makes

It was only a week ago that I had to be admitted into Tarzana Hospital. I had finally pushed it as far and long as I could and I had to have a hysterectomy due to fibroids in my uterus. I had struggled for the past two years and fought the thought of having the surgery and never being able to have another baby. Having the surgery meant that Shea would never have a sibling except for the two up in heaven from my previous miscarriages with Rob. It was tough and for a long time when Dr. Kimelman would even suggest the fact that it might be inevitable, I would cry. So, we tried with birth control pills, at times up to 6 a day to control the disgusting bleeding with out much success. Two months ago, I finally came to grips with the acceptance of having the surgery. It was something that I had to do for my health, Shea, and to continue leading the life that I love so much. Having the last year to go through what we did was a blessing and also gave Shea the time to realize I had been through enough. After all, she had seen what I had been through first hand. I was so sick when I went to Dr. K's office last Thursday that he just admitted me that day and scheduled the surgery for last Friday, August 3rd, 2007. I was very much at peace when I finally got into my room. As sick as I was, as soon as the nurses find out that I am a nurse, there is an unspoken bond. Angie had just had a tummy tuck and her boobs done and she proudly shared the beautiful results with me! Over my 5 day stay, I had 3 different roommates. As I got situated, I met Carole & Art. Carole is 74 years old, had a procedure on her spine and her and Art have been married for 53 years! They were both so comforting to me as I layed in that bed feeling so miserable. They were talking to each other about nothing imparticular but it was so soothing to me. I felt like they were part of my family. I love to hear older people who love each other just talk. My first night was horrible as even the IV hormones did not lighten up the bleeding and the morning could not get there fast enough! I was not scheduled until 5:30pm but Dr. K insisted that they bump me up to 12:30pm because I was losing so much blood. Because I had lost so much, I did have to have a blood transfusion and I was a bit upset by that. (My hemoglobin had gone down to 6- normal is 12- Dr. Felt used to say that patients were "running on half a tank" when their blood count was that low!) However, in situations like that, you do what you have to do. I was teasing with the nurse and said that I just hoped the blood was from a very handsome, african american man with a gorgeous smile! Carole and Art were leaving as I left for surgery. Carole mentioned that the one thing she missed doing was cooking. I did get their number and promised to take them dinner when I was up and running again. Off to the OR (operating room) with 2 cute, young OR staff and of course, I made them laugh the whole way down and was my normal, flirty self! As the anesthesiologist began my medicine, I asked Richard (one of the cuties) to pray with me...he did and I was off in dreamland! When I got out of recovery, morphine as well as dilotid awaited me for pain to which I "just said NO!" I stuck it out and took regular tylenol. I only had 2 really yuckys days after and I did take a total of one and one half Vicodin. I hate taking pain meds, I always have. My second roommate was a 19 year old girl, Paige, who had chronic pancreatitis. It is very painful with not many treatment options. Between her family and all of my family and visitors, even the 2 bad days were better because of them! From Sunday on, I slowly got better. I realized that I just might make it after all. The reason that I am writing all of this is not only to document it for me to read later but also for Shea to have as well. What happened on Sunday night still has me in awe of our great God. At 9pm Sunday night, a couple came in as my last roommate. Loretta & Robert were going through a miscarriage. My heart ached for them as I have been through it twice and as I gave as much comfort as I could, all I could say was that I know how much it sucked! They took her down for a DNC and an hour later she was back in our room to where she was very chatty and expressed that she believed that God knows what is best for us. As the night went on, we exchanged our beliefs, what churches that we went to, they have a 5 year old daughter, I told them about Shea. She reminded me of me so much in the way she felt about God's choices being what is best for us, even when we don't understand them. As we bonded and shared she spoke the words that I will never forget. They had Isaac a year ago and he died at 3 months. He had a severe form of Down's syndrome and had died in that very hospital. I always say that there are no coincidences- God works in ways that you & I will never comprehend or understand. Out of all the hospital rooms, all of the hundreds of patients and we were put together. Her words reinforced every doubt that I had ever had about having this surgery. I could not have gone through having another miscarriage and my heart could not have survived losing a child at 3 months. God knows how stubborn I can be. I know that this was His way of putting closure on ever having another doubt or question on the decision that I have made. The night that I got home and shared the story with Shea, we both just sobbed. She always tells me that even though she doesn't have siblings down here, she will someday meet them in heaven. I am recovering well and each day is better and better. I guess God figured He would give me one perfect child (trust me, she is as close to perfect as they come) and He did, Shea Elisa. Needless to say, I now will be sending out 503 cards at Christmas! (Carole, Paige & Loretta) Go ahead, poke all the fun you want to...people love me...what can I say?

The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be only the beginning.

Ivy Baker Priest